


John doesn't know what a bisexual is

by godlessAdversary



Series: Acceptance AU [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bisexual Character, F/F, F/M, Humanstuck, John doesn't understand about sexualities or genders, Lesbian Character, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-06-03
Packaged: 2018-06-08 12:37:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6854896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godlessAdversary/pseuds/godlessAdversary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What the title implies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

ectoBiologist [EB] is pestering gardenGnostic [GG]:

EB: jade, I need your help!

GG: john, you are lucky that my date is in the bathroom. what do you need?

EB: I think vriska might be a lesbian.

GG: what?

EB: I found some porn magazines in her bed, which I thought wasn’t such a big deal, but then I saw some photos in her facebook account.

GG: you are stalking her?!

EB: I was just curious!

GG: anyway, what did you found?

EB: just some photos of her and a girl with weird braids. The first photos were friendly, but then I saw one where they were cuddling?

GG: I think that was Meenah. she is like a gangsta wannabe.

EB: do you think vriska and her dated? And if so, does that means that she is gay and that my chances with her are zero?

GG: john, she is your girlfriend.

EB: I know, but if she dated girls why is she dating me?

GG: do you even know what does bisexual means?

EB: bi what?

GG: oh my god. Do I have to give you a sexuality class, little brother?

EB: enlighten me, big sister.

GG: ok, a bisexual is a person that is attracted to both men and women. Vriska is a bisexual, so she likes both men and women.

EB: so she is both gay and straight?

GG: that is a weird way to put it, but you are getting it.

EB: but wait, if she is dating me does that make her more straight than gay?

GG: no john, the fact she is dating a man doesn’t mean that she is no longer attracted to women.

EB: but you can’t be gay if you aren’t dating someone of the same sex.

GG: let me put it this way. Do you like women?

EB: yes.

GG: well, do you still find other women attractive after you got with vriska?

EB: jade, she is the one I love!

GG: of course, but do you still find other women attractive?

EB: …yes? What is your point?

GG: the point is, even after a bisexual is in a relationship, they will still feel attracted to the gender of their preference.

EB: I think I understand. However, I still feel a little confused about all this.

GG: john, do you remember how confused you were when you discovered that kanaya was a boy?

EB: it is just that I find it weird that kanaya is a lesbian and a dude too.

GG: like with that situation, you have to be openminded and let go of some of your old school sex ed.

EB: I guess. Anyway, how is your date so far? Is he nice?

GG: well, I can’t say he is a he.

EB: oh my god, jade are you a lesbian too? I will understand, I am just surprised.

GG: they aren’t a man or a woman, so I am not a lesbian.

EB: they? Are you dating many people?!

GG: davepeta is just one person. They use no gendered pronouns because the use of male and female pronouns isn’t of their likings. Oh, they are coming. See you later.

EB: jade, wait!

gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB].


	2. John learns more about sexuality and gender

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the title of the second chapter says.

Vriska’s POV:

John has been silent for most of the movie, and it worries you. He usually speaks about how cool Nicolas Cage in a certain scene, but he is just staring at the screen and eating popcorn.

“John?”

“Yes, Vriska?”

You embrace him with your arms and let your boobs touch his back. He blushes at your act of affection and you think his nose would bleed at any moment.

“You have been awkwardly silent for most of Kick Ass. Is something wrong?”

He sighs and pauses the movie. By the way he is looking at you you know something is wrong.

“Vriska, can I ask you something personal?”

“Yes?”

“Do you like me?”

You laugh at his question and he is just looks puzzled.

“I don’t just like you; I love you adorkable nerd. Why asking something so obvious?”

He clearly doesn’t know what to say, but he is trying. The last time he got this nervous was when he discovered that Rose was a lesbian. Wasn’t it that obvious?

“Vriska, do you like girls?”

What?

“I mean, are you a bisexual?”

“Of course I am a bisexual, John. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I still don’t understand how can you like girls but still be with me, but Jade told me that was possible in some way that I still can’t figure out.”

“I do find women as attractive as men, but you are the one I choose as my boyfriend.”

“So you are straight for me?”

You want to facepalm, but you know he is just too innocent to understand most of this concepts. If you two have kids you hope that John doesn’t educate them with Christian sex education.

“Yes, John, I am straight for you.”

“Cool. Also, I saw some pictures about you with another girl. Sorry  for stalking.”

You almost forgot that you have to erase those old pictures. Meenah is a bad memory that you should forget.

“It’s ok. She is an old acquaintance that must never be spoken about.”

“Okay.”

You and John return to watching the movie and you two sleep in the couch while still cuddling.

 

John’s POV:

Porrim’s spa.

“So, Egbert,” Dave speaks to you. “How does the sauna feels like?”

“It is my fist time in a spa and it feels good. I thought only old ladies came here.”

“You are an ignoramous of the heteronormative society.” Karkat says while massaging Dave’s shoulders. Both have been having too much contact in the last few hours, but you think it is something bros do. “Your shoulders are tense, Strider.”

“My bro has been an asshole lately. Nothing unusual. Hey, John, how are things with spiderbitch? Did she decided that you weren’t feminine enough so she went for a new chick?”

“For your information, she is a bisexual and she is quite straight for me.”

Karkat facepalms and Dave just smiles.

“Dude, chill. I know she is bi, I was just being sarcastic. You seriously need to take courses about noticing sass and figurative sense. This is irony 101, bro.”

“You two can continue talking about Serket’s sexuality, I will just go to submerge in the mud pool or some shit.”

Just as Karkat was leaving, his towel fell and you could see his naked body… wait.

“Oh my god, Karkat! Where is your penis!”

Both Dave and Karkat looked at you awkwardly and both facepalmed.

“Seriously, Egbert?! Didn’t you noticed in all these years?!”

“John is just slow as fuck, Karkat.”

You take afew minutes to figure out why Karkat has no dick or balls. Then you get it.

“You are a girl?!”

Why are they still facepalming?

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter will continue this story.


End file.
